The Misfortune Machine

The three of us
Were on our way
Up to a project site
In Yosemite Valley.
There was the draftsman
Who was producing
CAD drawings for the project,
My oldest daughter,
Who was then fourteen years old,
And myself
Who was the project engineer.
We stopped at a restaurant
At the base of a steep grade
On US 5 North
Know as The Grapevine.
It was there
That we spotted
A biorhythm machine
That supposedly would predict
Our fortune based on
Our date of birth.
My daughter got hers first,
And although it was not
A particularly bad prediction,
It certainly wasn’t good either.
The draftsperson came next.
His was particularly bad
Especially in the area of
Endurance and sexual prowess.
I had a lot of fun teasing him
Until it came to my turn.
Mine was so bad
That I might as well have
Called it quits
Right then and there
If I believed in such things.
According to my prediction
I shouldn’t have bothered
Getting out of bed that day.
There was a negative twist
To each of the predictions
That got worse and worse
Each time a fortune was read.
It obviously had a bias for youth
And I was the oldest one there.
We laughed so hard
Over our predicted misfortunes.
I hate to think
What might happen
If someone without
A sense of humor,
Who actually believed
In such things,
Tried to use that machine.