Little Red

Little Red was
A pet Guinea Pig
We had as kids
In Las Vegas.
He was lord and master
Of all our pigs,
The smartest one
Of the bunch.
We also had a female
Albino pig,
Lassie by name,
Who became
Little Red’s mate,
And the two of them
Parented a long line
Squeaky beasts.
We usually kept the pigs,
And piglets
In a cardboard box,
Which they invariably
Chewed holes in.
The holes were not
So much for escape
As they were
For them to stick
Their rear ends out of
And go to the bathroom.
Though they were rodents,
They deserved the label pigs,
Because they sure
Made a mess everywhere
They went.
Little Red was born with
A permanent cowlick
That looked very much like
A saddle on his back,
But he was also born
With brains and talent,
And quickly learned
A bunch of tricks
That established him
As our favorite.
Little Red got his name
Because he was
Bright reddish brown in color,
Almost identical
To Rusty, our Irish Setter.
In fact, he looked
So much like a little puppy,
That one of the neighbor dogs
Adopted them as her own.
They were so funny to watch,
The dog and guinea pigs,
For the dog would
Herd them around the yard
To the choicest grass mounds
Where they could graze
To their hearts content.
The dog became fiercely protective
Of the little pigs,
And would attack any other dogs
Who came near.
We could leave them
Out in our front yard
For hours on end,
And both the pigs
And the dogs seemed to
Love the arrangement.
We eventually had to
Put an end to that, however,
Because the dog took to
Also attacking people,
Who ventured too close
To her little pigs.
Like guinea pigs everywhere,
Our pigs quickly learned
To associate the opening
Of the refrigerator door,
With lettuce,
And would commence
A squeaking racket
Every time it was opened.
One of the tricks
Little Red learned
Was to stand up
Prairie dog style,
In the palm of our hands
And beg for food.
That always got the attention
He wanted.
Another Little Red innovation
Was the Guinea Pig procession
Following us as we walked
Along the sidewalk.
The only problem was
Sometimes he would
Get confused as to whose feet
He was following,
And several times
Ended up following
The wrong set of feet.
One time we passed by
An old man with a walking cane
Hobbling along,
And Little Red dutifully
Began following him.
The old guy looked back at
This procession of guinea pigs
Trailing behind him,
Led by Little Red,
And actually started running
To get away from them,
And it was all
The poor pigs could do
To keep up with him.
The thing that seemed to
Annoy Little Red the most
Was that when he stopped,
Lassie and procession
Would always keep going,
And run smack into
His rear end.
Lassie never did learn
To avoid annoying him.