Cougie

Cougie was our Type A,
Male sheltie,
Sort of a miniaturized collie
Who acted like
A canine termite,
Chewing anything,
And everything,
In its path.
He was a beautiful dog,
Fit for show competition,
Extremely affectionate,
But he wanted to be
The only dog
In the house.
The problem was
There were two others.
One of the others was Balto,
Our German shepherd,
Who was nearly twice his size.
Cougie took to
Nipping at Balto
Whenever he passed,
And instigated
Numerous fights
Between the two,
And our other dog,
Booboo, and apricot poodle,
Being roughly
The same size as Cougie,
Would always jump in
On Balto’s behalf
Just to make sure
He ended up on
The winning side.
Cougie didn’t stand a chance
Against those two,
And I think he knew it,
But that never stopped
His jealous subterfuge.
We really didn’t need
A third dog
When I acquired Cougie,
But he was so cute,
I couldn’t resist.
My wife, Cecilia,
Fumed over
The $350 price
Of that acquisition
Until Cougie
Won her over.
Cougie’s welcome quickly
Began to wear thin
After he destroyed
Thirty-one pairs of shoes,
One shoe out of each pair,
And his chewing
Didn’t end there.
He chewed up
The legs on most of
Our wooden furniture as well.
He would even
Pull out dresser drawers,
And proceed
To autograph them
With bite marks.
Nothing was immune
To his attack.
He even read
A few of our books
And must have thought
They tasted pretty good,
Though he invariable
Left them half finished.
The proverbial straw
That finally had me
Throw in the towel,
And take Cougie
To the animal shelter
Was when I moved
To our house
In Oakview, California,
And the first three nights there,
I had neighbors come over
Complaining about Cougie
Howling in the night.
He apparently didn’t like
Being left outside,
And howling was his revenge.
He was readopted
Within an hour
Of the time
I dropped him off.
I just told them
That he preferred
To live in a one-dog-house,
And I hope that is what he got.
Although my daughter, Becky,
Was actually allergic to dogs,
She still sulked
When she heard
That I had
Given Cougie away.
All I can say is that
I was relieved
When he was finally gone.