Absense of Sanity

There is something
About having a baby,
Especially when it is her first,
That drives
Young mothers bananas.
A perfectly rational lady,
If there is such a thing,
Has a maternal instinct
So incredibly strong,
Sanity often escapes her,
Especially when it has to do
With the welfare
Of her baby!
My wife, Cecilia,
Was a classic example.
She had delivered
And cared for
Numerous babies
While working as a nurse
In the Philippines.
You might have thought
She would have no trouble
Managing one of her own,
But nothing could been
Further from the truth.
Nothing she had done
Equipped her to deal with
The trauma of being a mom!
The instant the reality hit her
That this was her baby,
She became helplessly comical,
Completely overwhelmed
With instinctual devotion.
The least little cough,
The slightest sneeze,
Even a runny nose,
Was enough to send her
Into a total panic.
Traveling with a baby
Can be harrowing enough
Without having to do battle
With instinctual insanity.
When our oldest daughter
Was just three months old,
We took a trip to England
To visit her mother
And two of Cecilia’s sisters.
She was still
Far from the seasoned pro
She would someday become.
We had decided to tour
The English countryside
Southwest of London
And to visit Stonehenge.
More than anything,
We wanted to enjoy
A day off by ourselves.
We left Becky
In the able care
Of Cecilia’s mother,
And proceeded to drive off.
We later realized
That was the first time
Cecilia had been
Separated from Becky
Since we brought her
Home from the hospital.
We had been gone
Less than half a day
When Cecilia started
Crying hysterically
That she missed Becky,
So we had to rush
Back to London.
A short time later,
All of us, namely;
Cecilia, her mother,
Our daughter, Becky,
Her sister, Precy,
And myself,
Commenced circumnavigating
The back roads
Of England together
During one stop,
My wife got it into her head
That the baby formula
Had to be sterilized
For at least a half hour
Before it was safe for Becky.
I came into the room
And found the two of them
Totally concealed
In a women-made fog!
During a stopover
At a local farmhouse,
We placed Becky
And her bassinet
Upon a picnic table.
Our attention was diverted
For no more than
A minute or two,
Just long enough
For a flock
Of curious chickens
To collect around her.
Cecilia freaked out
When she saw the chickens
Examining Becky,
And screamed like a banshee
While charging to her rescue,
Scattering chickens
In every direction!
Things can be tough
When traveling with a baby,
Managing diapers and all.
It can be pretty stressful
For any new mom.
Cecilia was fit to be tied
And ready to start a revolution
When we discovered
The disposable diaper factory
Had gone on strike
And no more diapers
Could be found anywhere.
That was more than enough
English socialism for her.
For any first time mothers to be,
Don’t be alarmed.
You will invariably find yourself
Acting irrationally
No matter how logical and pragmatic
You might normally be.
Enjoy your temporary
Absence of sanity.
You will see the humor
In your experiences later,
And will become a motherhood pro
Before you know it.