Sibling Rivalry

It was the instinctual rivalry
Between my two daughters
That began turning my hair gray,
And at the root of each gray hair
Lies a story!

Becky, my oldest daughter,
Thrived on being the only child
And didn’t abdicate her throne easily.
She became a holy terror
When Ruby was born a year later.

Becky didn’t like
Ruby’s competition one bit,
And would try to scratch
Or bite the new baby
Every chance she got.

She had a vicious jealous streak
That had us very concerned.
It wasn’t safe to leave here
Anywhere near
Her baby sister!

When Ruby was three months old,
We left her with a neighbor
And took Becky with us on a cruise.
Those few days seemed to help
Becky accepted being stuck with her sister.

Accepting being stuck with
And accepting a sister
Are two distinctly different things,
And those two would battle
Like cats and dogs for years to come.

It wasn’t long, however
Before Ruby caught up in size
And could hold her own
Against Becky
So it became a battle of wits!

The rivalry could flare up into open warfare
Virtually any time or place.
Once coming back from school,
Becky made it home first
And tried to lock Ruby out.

Those two combatants,
Then only seven and eight,
Tore the front door
Completely off its hinges
In the fury of the encounter!

Those two nearly drove us nuts
With their constant bickering
We couldn’t sit them
Anywhere near each other
For fear of a fight.

For a while I drove a pickup truck
And I couldn’t have them both
In the cab with me.
What I needed was a set of cages
At opposite ends of the hold.

A few years later
While driving Becky to school
After one of their encounters,
I told her “Someday Ruby and you
Will be best of friends!”

Her instantaneous come back was
“Not in this lifetime!”
She was so adamant about that,
And I can’t resist
Teasing her about now!

It was interesting how
Their rivalry played out.
They tried so hard to emphasize
Their differences
And deny their similarities.

Becky shined in school
While Ruby struggled,
But Ruby became a master
On the computer
And Becky didn’t want to
Touch the thing.

They were both naturally artistic.
Becky took up drawing and painting
While Ruby got into graphic design,
But each one strove to ensure
Their individual styles were unique.

They wouldn’t dare
Wear the same kind of clothes,
And wouldn’t even
Eat the same foods.
Neither one wanted to be like her sister.

The funny thing was how much
They had in common
In spite of
All their exaggerated efforts
At being unique.

Both girls are musically inclined.
Becky took piano lessons
And learned how to read music
But to spite her sister,
Ruby taught herself how to play by sound.

They both were voracious readers,
But seldom read the same books.
They both took typing in grade school.
Becky was clocked at 75 words a minute
But Ruby got up to 95 wpm.

It wasn’t too many years later
When another lifetime occurred ,
And Becky declared that Ruby and her
Were then best friends,
And I struggled not to laugh!

When looking through
Some of her old school essays,
Becky was somewhat ashamed
Of the blatant hostility
She exhibited toward her sister.

Initially their truces were transient things,
Seldom lasting long,
But they provided moments of respite
That we sorely needed
After the years of refereeing their battles.

Gradually they began to do things together
And actually enjoy each other’s company
Or maybe it happened when Becky discovered
That boys were more interesting
Than locking horns with her sister!

There were plenty of times
When I just had to hold my breath
To stop from strangling one or the other
And for parents facing a similar challenge
Just know that those battles will someday pass.