The One Not Waiting

The kind of woman
I am interested in
Isn’t waiting for me,
Or anyone else,
To come and free her
From the life she lives,
For she is already living
A life she loves.
She is someone
With the courage
To venture forth alone
If she has to,
But also someone
With the freedom
To commit to a relationship
If and when
A suitable mate
Comes along.
She is someone
Who doesn’t let
Her fears and anxieties
Stop her
From trying new things
Or exploring
What life has to offer.
She is someone
Who lives adventurously,
A person who
Challenges herself
At every turn,
Always seeking
To better herself,
Yet there is serenity
About her as well,
A certain calmness
Bred of confidence
In whom she is
And her mission in life.
This is the woman I seek.

Poison Mattress

We were trying to get
The perfect mattress,
With the mystical quality
Of being simultaneously
Soft and firm,
All in the quest
For a perfect night's sleep.
What we got
Seemed to fit the bill
Without emaciating
Our checkbook too much,
Until we brought it home.
As soon as we brought it in
Everyone in the apartment
Started coughing
And developing
Respiratory distress.
We thought we had all
Come down with a bad
Case of the flu,
But it kept getting worse
And worse.
What we noticed
That seemed strange
Was that the coughing
Subsided the longer
We were away from
The apartment,
And started up again
As soon as we got back.
It was obvious
That something
In the apartment
Was making us sick.
It took a while until
We narrowed it down
To the new mattress.
We tried venting,
Putting in powerful fans
To blow the fumes out,
But that didn't help.
As soon as we
Placed the mattress outside
On the patio,
All of our symptoms
Began to disappear.
The mattress was offgassing,
Unbeknown to us
Giving off formaldehyde,
Poisoning us
While we slept,
Eat and breathed.
It was not a cheap mattress
Made in China,
But one manufactured
Here in the United States.
One possible solution
Would be to encase
The mattress in plastic,
But that has
Certain drawbacks as well.
What it highlighted
Was the danger
Of indoor pollution.
It turns out that
A multitude of things
Commonly found
In houses and apartments
Offgas volatile
Organic compounds.
The list includes
Paints, stains, varnishes,
Carpet, insulation, flooring,
Kitchen cabinets
And counter tops,
Plywood and particle board,
Paint and strippers,
Glues and adhesives,
Caulking compounds,
Soft or flexible plastics,
Shower curtains,
and many fire retardants.
Furniture and pressed wood
Are common culprits,
And even toys and tennis balls
Can give off
Toxic or irritant gases.
The new car smell
Is a product of offgassing.
Even the computer
On which I am writing
Offgasses.
Add cleaning supplies
And air fresheners,
Pesticides, packing foam
Synthetic fibers,
Fertilizers and fuels
To the mix,
And the home ends out
Far worse
Than the traffic bred smog
That envelopes
So many cities
Around the world.
This is especially of concern
When a new baby
Comes home.
His or her lungs
Are not fully developed,
And those VOC toxins
Can take a toll
On their health
And well being
Even more so
Than it does
On us adults.

Newspaper Obituary

And so another regional newspaper
Bites the dust,
An apparent dinosaur
In the digital age,
A relic of a
Bygone era.
It died a slow
And painful death,
Brought on by
Anemic circulation
Sharply reduced
Advertising revenue,
Rising costs,
Competition from
Television news,
And strangulation
By Internet news
And classified services.
People now have choices
They never had before.
They can get
All the news they want
Through their computer
Or cell phone.
The paper is no longer needed
For editorials,
For sports results,
For local happenings,
For job listings,
Or for any of the other
Services the newspaper
Once provided.
Young boys no longer
Have the opportunity,
As I did when I was young,
To get up
In the early hours
Of the morning,
Wrap the papers
And deliver them
By bicycle
To local residences.
Much is lost
As much is gained
In the changing
Of the Times.

Turtle Commotion

After a young girl
And her older sister
Boarded a plane
And took their seats,
A stewardess noticed
A plastic box
With a pet turtle inside
In the young girls lap.
The stewardess told her
To stow it
Under the seat in front
Which she did,
But another stewardess,
On seeing the turtle,
Demanded that the two girls
Exit the plane.
Apparently birds,
Dogs and cats
Are permitted,
But amphibians
Or reptiles are not.
The girls were told
That they had to
Get rid of their pet
If they wanted to fly,
So they called their father
To come back to the airport
And pick up the turtle.
Since no one
Was willing
To look after the turtle
Until the girls father arrived,
The girls were forced
To place their turtle
In a nearby trash can
To avoid further
Delaying the flight.
They were then
Allowed to re-board
And fly to their destination
When the father arrived
Back at the airport
The the turtle was nowhere
To be found,
And the explanation offered
Was that the trash
Had probably been dumped.
What had actually happened
Was that an airport worker
Observing the confrontation
Had rescued the turtle,
And taken it home
For his daughter.
Three days later,
After the confusion unraveled,
The young girl
And her pet turtle
Were reunited,
Compliments of the airline.
The airline's only excuse
Was that turtles
Have been known
To carry the salmonella bacteria,
So the little turtle
Was considered
A serious security violation.
They failed to mention
How they got the turtle
To her, however,
Or what happened to
The airport worker
Who “rescued” the turtle.
I wonder if it was
The airport security cameras
That implicated the worker.
I can only imagine
How infuriated the father
Must have been
When he had to return home
Empty handed.
In a world run by rigid rules
And regulations,
Little things often become
Major issues,
Especially in the absence of
Common sense.
In retrospect, none of
The turtle commotion
Was at all necessary.
I wonder if the stewardess
Who raised the issue
Was rewarded
For her diligence
Or reprimanded
For her steadfast rigidity.
Another possible way
To look at this incident
Is to wonder about
How newsworthy
The day must have been
For this to have made
The national news.

Disguised Insanity

I remember when
The State began closing
The mental institutions
And flooding the streets
With all sorts of crazies.
It became quite common
To encounter people
Talking to the air,
Or to imaginary
Friends or adversaries.
I would see them gesticulating,
Sometimes mumbling,
Sometimes shouting,
Seemingly oblivious
To those of us
Who were really there.
Now that I have returned
Back stateside
After a long period overseas,
I observe that there are
More of those type people
Than ever before,
Only someone gave them all
The perfect cover,
They all have cell phones!
Everyone has one,
The neighborhood bums,
The skid-row derelicts,
And even the real crazies
Now have a cell phone,
Or at least a set of
Ear plugs that I assume
Are attached to either
And iPod or a cellphone.
What a stroke of genius!
Give the crazies
A cell phone or an iPod,
And they are instantly transformed
So that no one questions their sanity
When they see them
Talking to the air anymore.
Problem solved.

Rejoicing at the Questions

Last night I saw a program
On the science channel
Summarizing the latest theories
On the nature of the universe
And the laws that govern
Its makeup and actions.
There were theorists
And mathematicians
From major universities
Postulating ideas
On how quantum mechanics
And the Theory of Relativity
Developed by Albert Einstein
Can be united into
A single unifying theory.
Quantum mechanics
Appears to apply to
Very small particles
And relativity applies
To very large bodies,
But the two theories
Break down
And seem mutually incompatible
When dealing with
What is happening inside
Black holes.
Some of the greatest minds
In the world
Are playing with this problem
And trying to
Theorize possible solutions.
One of the major
Theorists featured
Was a certified beach bum
Who spends most of his time
Surfing the waves of Hawaii
When he isn't wrapping his mind
Around complex formulations
And higher mathematics.
I can just imagine him
Catching a major wave
While toying with
The next evolution in
Mathematical logic.
At a time when
Much of the world
Seems absorbed in
The unworkability
Of our planet,
I found myself
Fascinated with the discussions,
And I rejoiced
In the knowledge
That there are people
Grappling with ideas
Few of us comprehend
Or even bother thinking about.
I was reminded
Just how mysteriously beautiful
And utterly complex
The world we live in
Really is.